Dear Patrick (?),
Dude. You suck. You beat me up with pine cones when I was in 2nd grade. Good thing I wasn't attracted to red heads then. I do wonder where you are now though, because I guess you're around 20? Anyway, thanks for some interesting times. It's all part of growing up.
I'm about to ignore my homework and take a quick gas/wal-mart/DI trip, so wish me luck!
While I was looking for inspiration, I came across this guy who collects flight attendant outfits.