here's looking at you, kid

well, actually at me.  because I have some exciting news.

I'M GOING TO COLLEGE.
BYU to be exact.

I feel like I have to share a story.  I have this concept that I have to let people know that I am different.
I'm just really in to myself, I guess.  :)

So, last year when I began the ridiculous process of applying/choosing a college, I would get so stressed that I would get sick.  I couldn't figure out where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, what would happen if I made the wrong decision.  After a long long time, I quit worrying and, unfortunately, quickly turned to the apathetic side of getting things done (aka not).

I decided that because I wasn't getting some great revelation that I would take what I can get now and figure things out later.  I don't know if this really means I need to go to BYU or if it will be just right until I find out what life is really going to bring me.  At this point, I'll take whatever.

I often get asked why I'm not going to Utah State.  I have nothing against it.  In fact, I would love to live there because it's adorable and I have some great family near by.  It's just not right for me.

Consider this:  when I was accepted to USU last month, I got the letter after school.  No one was home so I set it on the counter and grabbed some food.  I took my sweet time.  In movies, when someone gets that special letter, it's in a huge envelope and there's usually some celebration.  I was disappointed because I had a tiny envelope.  I wasn't worried really, but I felt like some of the excitement was already gone.  I sat down, took a drink, and opened my envelope.  Once I saw "Congratulations" I could breath again, but it was seriously anti-climatic.  I stuffed the papers back in, took another drink, and forgot to tell my family for a few days.

Contrast that with tonight's ordeal:  I've been stalking the BYU Admissions FB page for days and when rumors were confirmed that today was the day, I had a panic attack.  We took a mutual field trip to the Ogden Temple tonight and that meant that I would be gone for TWO WHOLE HOURS and couldn't check my status.  When I got home I was relieved to see that nothing had happened without me, and resumed my OCD-like refreshing of the page.  I continued with homework, but decided to check again.  Nothing.  Then just for fun, I refreshed the page again.  Suddenly I saw "Admitted Undergraduate."
Oh my.  I screamed.  I cried.  I screamed some more.  I called Hannah and made her check.  I ran into Maddy's room and cried some more.  Hannah got in!  I ran upstairs and told my aunt and uncle.  This was legit.

I'm relieved.  Just to have this next part of my life ready to set up is so much nicer than I could've imagined.  And I imagined a lot.

There is no way I'm sleeping tonight.