Sunday, February 6, 2011

freaky, girl

my family and friends are going to be so sick of listening to this pretty soon, but it keeps coming up...

i'm 18.  most of the time i don't feel old.  yes, i can buy dry ice and call the numbers on infomercials, but it doesn't feel real yet.

then...  then, things are put into perspective.  my oldest sister got married at 18.  i have friends who are getting married, and i see girls i looked up to two years ago that are married.

don't worry, i'm not making plans now, but it's days like today when i have young women's lessons on 'preparing to be an eternal companion', and my awesome leaders make us huge pink crowns to wear around to remind us that we're princesses, and i think about where i'm going next in life, and i think about it... and it's trippy!

this could be me.  am i ready?  will i be in six months, or a year, or even two?
i know everything will happen right when it should, but i'm nervous.

but mostly excited.  nervous and excited.  [finally found this quote!  everyone was doubting me.  from 10 Things I Hate About You: "I'm just so nervous.  You know?  And I'm also very excited.  I'm nervous and I'm excited.  It's all very mixed up.  I don't know..."] 

don't ask me why i think about this all the time. i'm a girl. that's the only excuse i need, right?

anyway, just thought i needed to let y'all know how weird this is.

and that there are only 115 days until i graduate.

and that there's only (crossing my fingers) a week until i find out if BYU wants me.

and that i love this weird january/february utah weather.
i walked home from church in 45 degrees today.
and it was hot.

and that i'm going to the gym in 8 hours (too soon),
so i'll have to say good night:)

1 comment:

  1. I remember feeling like this and I am 22, not that much older. The thing is you grow so much in college. I am married now and it didn't come until I was comfortable just being myself and started really developing hobbies.

    That being said, there was a lot of time I feel like I wasted on boys that were not interested in me and being boy crazy. Some things I give to you as advice: focus on your education, focus on your relationships with females (they will become your best friends and will stay that way after you are married and through serious relationships), focus on your health and being comfortable with your body, and focus on your spirituality.

    It's a wonderful time to develop...and everything else will happen too :)


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