sunday

+ it's possible to have a testimony without living it. but don't. now is the time to become truly converted. and then we converted again and again and again. (oscarson)

+ it's hard to endure with a weak testimony. gotsta get my spirit in shape. (maynes)

+ satan will use guilt to lure you into his "power." you know you have a guilty conscious, so watch out. we all need the atonement. share truths every day. (scott)

*commercial break to wonder if any man will speak about me like pres. monson does of frances. prolly not. 

+ do not rebel, but question and learn and discuss. do good things and never underestimate your power. also, i would like for my house to be more than "grandma's house." that felt weird to me. (cook)

+ this is exactly what i wrote in my journal: attend all your mtgs, yo. even lame YSA stuff... (hamilton)

+ we don't know everything. priesthood holders need to ask women for help with more than food and babysitting. we know stuff. (andersen)

+ make sure you have a personal, spiritual experience with material before teaching it. (mcconkie)

+ the aging process is a gift. this Gospel is a gospel of Christ's love. (nelson)

there were a few things i didn't share, but that i really appreciated feeling & hearing at this point in my life. i feel reassured, and also something else that i can't quite put my finger on. can you be sad about being relieved about something? i don't know. maybe we'll talk about those things one day.

but do you ever get really sad when the prophet is all "see ya in six months" and you realize the countdown started over and that's a long time? oh.

maybe it's just cause i have to wait that long for cinnamon rolls. ours were pumpkin.

1 & 2

we already know how much i loved what i learned from elder hales.
these are a few of my favorite insights mostly from saturday:

+ exercise roles in relationships righteously & awesomely. aka, be the best daughter, sister, aunt, friend ever. (stephens)

+ gratitude is a spiritual gift, but we have to practice it to gain it. (bednar)

+ members of the Church are not perfect. the culture is not perfect. but Christ and His Gospel are perfect & His doctrine is pure. there is a place for everyone in the Church, but in this case, we need to practice what we preach. (uchtdorf)

+ seek truth & righteousness. and if you have to do that by listening to your heart instead of everyone around you, that is okay. (packer)

+ we need to be good, y'all. so so good. and kind, compassionate, respectful, understanding to all. we are commanded to. and we are trying to be like our Savior who is perfect in all those things, so why would we not? i have a problem with thinking and being not those things to people who are not good to other people. it's an issue. all relationships require work, so have the companionship of the Holy Ghost always. (christofferson, eyring, oaks)

+ pray for others. for everyone, but especially local missionaries, my friends on missions, and those currently being converted. i say that because we all are being converted, whether we are baptized or not! (nielsen)

+ more compassion! never lose faith. listen to your body & heart & mind & spirit. seek treatment and advice.  
so maybe i should go back to therapy... charity never faileth. (holland)

+ sharing the gospel should be easy because it's our life! make it simple, make is comfortable. by being myself, i should be sharing the gospel constantly. (ballard)

#ldsconf

the hashtag & the actual meetings are both my favorite. i've been looking forward to the #twitterstake for weeks.

let me start by saying that i approached conference this weekend very differently than i did in april. and it was so interesting. it wasn't a conscious decision, but i do know it was inspired because i got more out of these meetings for myself than i think i ever have. 

in april, the so-called mormon feminist "movement" was beginning to manifest itself to the public. i decided that in addition to my normal notes, i was going to make a list of things that maybe rubbed me the wrong way or that i didn't understand during conference so i could work through them later. i did, and it was incredible. i learned so much. i'm still learning from those things. it was the moment i finally realized that i could have questions, and that questions were good. 

so yes, i consider myself a feminist. i mean, as women, aren't we all? however, moderation in all things.

so that was good. but i noticed that i still felt a little angsty. i think it was a mix of where i was (physically, mentally, spiritually) and me trying to figure out how that fit into the Church/serving with other members who feel very differently than i.

anyway, when elder hales was the first speaker saturday morning and he spoke about modern scripture & revelation and that was EXACTLY what we discussed in sunday school and fhe last week & what i've been thinking about pretty much nonstop for the last 6 days, 

i knew i had to put it into practice right that second. for all four sessions (still have to get to relief society/priesthood), i only wrote down my feelings & any personal revelation i had for me, on the topic.

no quotes (i could get them from twitter later, duh), no stories or lists, nothing that would seem so obvious to record.

and y'all, it was easy. and it was amazing. i maybe wrote less, but it means more and i will actually understand when i go back to read my notes. it seems almost silly now. shouldn't i have been doing this all along? i can read more later, but i always want to remember how i feel in the moment.

i'm so grateful for both of these experiences this year. 

they were both worked, because i learned something.

and learning is good!