here's looking at you, kid

well, actually at me.  because I have some exciting news.

I'M GOING TO COLLEGE.
BYU to be exact.

I feel like I have to share a story.  I have this concept that I have to let people know that I am different.
I'm just really in to myself, I guess.  :)

So, last year when I began the ridiculous process of applying/choosing a college, I would get so stressed that I would get sick.  I couldn't figure out where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, what would happen if I made the wrong decision.  After a long long time, I quit worrying and, unfortunately, quickly turned to the apathetic side of getting things done (aka not).

I decided that because I wasn't getting some great revelation that I would take what I can get now and figure things out later.  I don't know if this really means I need to go to BYU or if it will be just right until I find out what life is really going to bring me.  At this point, I'll take whatever.

I often get asked why I'm not going to Utah State.  I have nothing against it.  In fact, I would love to live there because it's adorable and I have some great family near by.  It's just not right for me.

Consider this:  when I was accepted to USU last month, I got the letter after school.  No one was home so I set it on the counter and grabbed some food.  I took my sweet time.  In movies, when someone gets that special letter, it's in a huge envelope and there's usually some celebration.  I was disappointed because I had a tiny envelope.  I wasn't worried really, but I felt like some of the excitement was already gone.  I sat down, took a drink, and opened my envelope.  Once I saw "Congratulations" I could breath again, but it was seriously anti-climatic.  I stuffed the papers back in, took another drink, and forgot to tell my family for a few days.

Contrast that with tonight's ordeal:  I've been stalking the BYU Admissions FB page for days and when rumors were confirmed that today was the day, I had a panic attack.  We took a mutual field trip to the Ogden Temple tonight and that meant that I would be gone for TWO WHOLE HOURS and couldn't check my status.  When I got home I was relieved to see that nothing had happened without me, and resumed my OCD-like refreshing of the page.  I continued with homework, but decided to check again.  Nothing.  Then just for fun, I refreshed the page again.  Suddenly I saw "Admitted Undergraduate."
Oh my.  I screamed.  I cried.  I screamed some more.  I called Hannah and made her check.  I ran into Maddy's room and cried some more.  Hannah got in!  I ran upstairs and told my aunt and uncle.  This was legit.

I'm relieved.  Just to have this next part of my life ready to set up is so much nicer than I could've imagined.  And I imagined a lot.

There is no way I'm sleeping tonight.

chilluns

This is my 100th post.
What a day.

Tonight after dinner, my 5 year old cousin/nephew Jack came up the stairs closely followed by his triplet cousins and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our magic show!"

We then spent the next 15 around the dinner table watching various shows being performed.  It was the sweetest.

I'll echo what Maddy said today: all this stuff makes me really excited to be a mom.  After all, I have so many good examples.

beginner's mind

(please listen to this^ new song from Bright Eyes!)

Maddy and I went moon chasing tonight while listening to the oldies.  The snow was glittering and bright, and the moon was huge.  The drive home from Target became a whole lot more magical.

Every time my email pings, my stomach lurches.  I scramble to look, but then I hesitate because if it's not it, I have to wait longer and if it is... it's my future.  This really is a test of patience for me right now.  And I don't like it.

Although, I think it's hilarious that the BYU Admissions facebook page keeps posting General Conference talks on patience and things.  Funny, but not funny.


I am so thankful tomorrow's Friday and it's a long weekend.
You have no idea.

happy blogday!

One year ago my little blog baby was born.  I feel like such a proud blogent.

I love having a space to write down all my thoughts, or at least the most interesting ones, that don't quite make it into my journal every week.

Unfortunately, I've gotten to the point that I feel like I need comments to keep writing.  No worries, I'm fixing that...

To celebrate, I'm going to eat some Valentine's candy and do lots of math homework.  Maybe I'll calculate some statistics for this little blog.  Nope.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone:)

oh valium-times!

14 things I love on this day of love:

1) Anthropologie's wedding line that launched today!

If I was getting married and had all the money in the world I would buy...

this lacy sweater to wear over my dress after the ceremony,

either of these gorgeous belts to wear with the above,

these darling shoes because I need them,

and these to wear while dancing,

(all pictures via)

2) chick flicks, of course.

I especially love 500 Days of Summer because

it's a more realistic portrayal of love without being stuffy.

and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

3) my cowl from Target

I love all scarves really, but I have been so obsessed

with infinity scarves and cowls lately.

So cute. So practical (warm).

4) these people.

Oh my goodness.  Amazing photographers

and an amazing family.  

Can I be her, please?

5) cute Russian apartment things from Urban Outfitters.

(via)

6) James Franco and his new book.

I'm considering ordering it for myself for Valentine's.

Expect a review soon:)

7) my Psychology class.

I'm beginning to hate school, but talking about

babies and relationships and funny things in Psych makes it all worth it.

8) Baths.  You best believe I'm having one tonight. 

I've decided that at least one a week is necessary.

I pour in this:

and set up a playlist with my favorite music and I'm good to go.

9) I LOVE awkward pictures of me and Kar.

Especially since those of the only ones we can ever get...

10) this list may soon make you think that i love school, 

but don't be fooled.

I love my Fashion Merchandising class.

I love learning correct terms for hems and necklines and sleeves

and I'm excited to cover fabrics and the business side.

It makes me want to be a textile designer.

For some reason I signed up to compete in Apparel & Accessories in State DECA

& to be in charge of vendor relations and sales for our upcoming Prom Expo at school.

Wish me luck.

11) sweet music.

I love this cool lady,

and these lovelies by my supposed celebrity lookalike.

They will be played at my wedding.

12) Names. 

Baby names, grown up names. 

I'm such a girl, but I love people and I love their names.  

I found out tonight that my aunt doesn't like one of my future children's names, 

but I'm sure I'll change my mind anyway.

13) Camping.  Oh my.  I'm such a nature nerd.  I will save the planet.

This weekend's weather was amazing and I was craving the [higher] mountain air.

I would take my recycled toothbrush and all of my flannel.

This is the only thing I crave about summer.

14)  I love love.  And what I love most is my family.  

I am so blessed and have so much family to go around.  

I love being the youngest because I get to travel to see them all

and they love to give me advice:)

I LOVE YOU.

happy anna howard shaw day to us all!

Every good blog contains a myriad of embarrassing stories, so I'm working on building up my credibility.  So here's the set up:  February 2004 (right?), I was in 5th grade at ABC and there was this boy who shall remain nameless.  I liked him a lot, I guess, because I wrote him a Valentine with a poem.  I can't remember if I gave it to him directly or not, I remember that nothing happened like I wanted it to.  I think the situation pretty much got ignored, which was good because I felt really embarrassed.  I hope whoever found out about it doesn't remember....  This may not sound like much, but it was hard for my little 11 year old self to handle.  So then this boy and I became normal friends until 8th grade when we held hands on a charter bus.  (Yes, Mom, this is probably the first time you've heard this, even if you knew:)

Anyway, my girls and I had a great Valentime's partay Saturday night with lots of food and cheesy chick flicks and Maddy and I made a million cards for our friends and neighbors and the mailman last night.  

I'm feeling the love and I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentine's!

(come back later today for a special edition of things i love!)

never say never

I have a confession.

I went to the Justin Bieber movie.  Midnight showing.

Yep.  Ok, I'm not gonna lie, some of my love (read: not obsession, no worries) came from this video:




full video here.

And when I got home at 2.35 am I may have had the urge to clean my room.
And I love him.
Because I know he loves me back.

one of those better be the golden ticket!

(photos courtesy of Kar)

on repeat

I've had this song stuck in my head all day long.
I love.  :)

freaky, girl

my family and friends are going to be so sick of listening to this pretty soon, but it keeps coming up...

i'm 18.  most of the time i don't feel old.  yes, i can buy dry ice and call the numbers on infomercials, but it doesn't feel real yet.

then...  then, things are put into perspective.  my oldest sister got married at 18.  i have friends who are getting married, and i see girls i looked up to two years ago that are married.

don't worry, i'm not making plans now, but it's days like today when i have young women's lessons on 'preparing to be an eternal companion', and my awesome leaders make us huge pink crowns to wear around to remind us that we're princesses, and i think about where i'm going next in life, and i think about it... and it's trippy!

this could be me.  am i ready?  will i be in six months, or a year, or even two?

i know everything will happen right when it should, but i'm nervous.

but mostly excited.  nervous and excited.  [finally found this quote!  everyone was doubting me.  from 10 Things I Hate About You: "I'm just so nervous.  You know?  And I'm also very excited.  I'm nervous and I'm excited.  It's all very mixed up.  I don't know..."] 

don't ask me why i think about this all the time. i'm a girl. that's the only excuse i need, right?

anyway, just thought i needed to let y'all know how weird this is.

and that there are only 115 days until i graduate.

and that there's only (crossing my fingers) a week until i find out if BYU wants me.

and that i love this weird january/february utah weather.

i walked home from church in 45 degrees today.

and it was hot.

and that i'm going to the gym in 8 hours (too soon),

so i'll have to say good night:)

what time is it?

it's [kind of, almost getting close to] summertime!  oh, zefron.

So far, this is what my weekend looks like:

except I'm laying on the couch, she's on the floor, 

and neither of us look this clean.

last night I randomly came down with the most ridiculous stomach bug

I've ever had.  like fainting, no breathing, writhing in pain, making friends with the bowl

ridiculous.

then I got tired and slept a lot.

then poor Maddy got something that is way too close to strep.

so we're spending our weekend with Antonio, Mary-Kate & Ashley, those Wildcats, 

and our awesome sick dreams.

the summer HSM2 came out happened to be the summer I moved to Utah.

I bought the soundtrack at a Wal-Mart on the drive out and tortured my mother for hours.

oh, 14 was a great year.

the worst part of a stomach issue is no solid food.  

I had some great chicken broth and soup, 

but my toast and eggs for dinner never tasted so good.

but now I'm craving fish tacos.

or more popsicles.  

---

for my few followers, 

there is an amazing giveaway this week @

BUSY BEE LAUREN

check it out and enter!

severe weather

Oh heyyy East Winds,

you made me cold today.

Walking in and out all day in a windy 0* was not the happiest,

but I felt right at home because you reminded me of the great hurricane winds I haven't felt in a while.

---

So I've been sick this week and I was starting to feel great until...

Wait, what?  I was talking?  Sorry, I couldn't hear myself.

The past two days, my ears have been clogged up.  

They only hurt for a while the first day, so I'm not too worried.

In fact, I think it's hilarious.

Mom, I'm sorry you can't hear me sometimes.

It's not fun.

This is how I feel when I'm sick:

(I took this while I was driving and couldn't focus, but I like it)

[don't judge]