fin.

I was going to do some fun countdown to the day of birth thing, but I'm lazy.  And 20 sounds so much more accomplished, so let's have it together next year!

I had a thought.  I love bookends.  I'm just a wee bit obsessed.  But really.  They can be statues, masterpieces, homemade, big, little, hard, soft...  The possibilities are endless.  I've always wanted a library in my home, but I realize that it will be years and years until I have a home with enough extra space for what I'm envisioning.  Enter: the bookend.  What a weird word.  Until I have the time, money, and space, I want to fill each teeny room in each tiny house with books--and bookends.

In 19 days, I will be 19 years old.
I feel like this is a big moment.

So, I ate some spicy cheetos and kept checking facebook in hopes that someone would do something interesting.  Nobody did.

my loves

First of all, I'm done with classes!  In just a few short days, I will have my first semester of college under my belt, and out of my mind.

Now, I can't believe I didn't post about Black Friday.  As I was delaying the inevitable studying I have to do today, I started thinking (in case I fail life next week) about all that I have to be grateful for.  And three weeks later, I'm here to tell you how grateful I am for Black Friday.

I know there's this whole campaign against stores opening early because it distracts from people spending time with their families, but from Thursday evening to the wee hours of the morning on Saturday, I Black Fridayed it up with these kids:

And I've never had a better time standing in line.  

We talked about life and the future, and laughed more than we should have.  It was time that we could have/should have been spending with our families, but hey, we're family too.

I may seem a little extra sentimental lately and it's because I am!  I don't get to see these three nearly enough and soon both those boys will be gone, and it will just be Kar and I eating peppermint ice cream by the carton.  And that's okay too.

preparation

Last month, on the supposed luckiest day of the year, the fearsome fivesome convened for a celebration.  One of our own will be leaving us for two years, so we took it upon ourselves to create a party good enough to last us his next three birthdays.  It was hard (not really), but I definitely think we did a perfect job.

We started the extravaganza at Airborne in Draper.  Dude.  DUDE.  A room full of trampolines and foam pits.  I'm down.  But when they tell you to not to dive into the foam, don't.  Scary.

Then we took him to Texas Roadhouse and made him sit on the saddle.

We learned that Chase moves a lot faster than Rachel.

And then we had cake.

&& made the best wishes ever.

So, basically we're the best friends ever.  Love you Chase!

i need a therapist like crazy

I took a little trip to the SLC last night to 1) see Maggie, 2) see Like Crazy, and 3) eat food and cry.

Some of these things went better than the others.

Maggie, of course, is great.  We went to Himalayan Kitchen and fell in love.  With each other, and the giant bread basket (stuffed naan?  YES).  I got lamb coconut curry and felt very classy in my sparkly shirt that I did not spill on, thank you.

Then we went to the movie.

Y'all...

I had such high expectations for this film.  It wasn't bad, per se.  I just couldn't deal with my emotions!

For the first 10-15 min I was so in love with their love I couldn't stand it.  

For the rest of the time I was confused.  I was stressed.  I had wanted to cry so bad, and there was a time or two when I could have, but it wouldn't come out.  And that stressed me out even more.  So, we're rolling along.

And it ends.  Very ambiguously.  Which is fine, I guess.

The credits start rolling and suddenly I'm sobbing.  And laughing.  Because the three guys behind us were sharing our same hateful sentiments towards the whole thing.

The best part of the credits was the song.  It was also in the trailer and I am beyond obsessed.  

arranged marriage

If I had a nickel for every time I thought some random guy could/should be my future husband...

I would have a pile of nickels.  A large pile.  I could probably buy something nice for myself.


Here we have the most recent men and why we're getting married.  Obviously.

carpet cleaning guy: we like the same musician.  and he was in my apartment for like, ten whole minutes.

the guy sitting in front of me in the library: because he's there.  and i like his windbreaker.

Peter from the crosswalk: my first "hi, I'm an RM" experience.

the boy who smiled at me from his hot car: duh.

mustache man (who said I was the first to compliment, not run away): he obviously needs me.

and then there's hot, reading man in library (need I say more?) who is probably the perfect combination of all of the above.  right?  yeah, until his girl comes and hugs him for a long time.  Too long.  She has a ring.  Although, this supposedly isn't a problem because, as I've heard from way too many professors/leaders, it's not over until he has a ring on.

this place is weird.

but we all know best friends who write really great letters are the best.


Happy weekend!  I only have two more until my first semester of college is done.  Done done done.
&& if everything goes as planned, I will be seeing Like Crazy tonight and shedding some happy/sad tears with the best friend (I need some catharsis up in here!).

web celeb sighting 6.0

look who I heard first, then saw on campus on Halloween!

it's Sexy Sax Man!

and other man who's thoroughly enjoying himself!

(also spotted: Kool-Aid Man and some pregnant girls.  oh, wait.)

FAQ: the semi-serious kind

Dear Centerville,

I apologize if I've seemed insensitive today.  I really do feel bad for everything you've been through.  But you asked me once (or twice, or a lot) what a hurricane is like.  Yes, this is kind of like that.  I guess.  If you added rain, lightning, thunder, and heat (and a few other side affects).

I promise I didn't send this on you just to show you what's up because I really like you and I don't know how to do that kind of thing.

Welp, get better soon!

happy Thanksgiving week!

what I'm grateful for this Monday:

nice boys who will strike up a conversation.
my car.
being a visiting teacher.
naps.
cancelled classes.
a really comfortable couch I sat on for almost 24 hours.
the most hilarious FHE family ever.
boys who hold the Priesthood.
Pinterest.
I have two hands to write, type, hug, drive, cook, and exist with.
best friends, even when they are miles away.
my printer.
frozen burritos, because my fridge/pantry are empty.
my cute Christmas tree.
decorating/redecorating with the roomies.

a break.

may i vent?

I promise I'll fill this space with many funny things next week, but first, I have a request.

Does someone want to be my penpal?

Because my current one is very busy serving the Lord and I hate checking the mailbox to find absolutely nothing.

Anyone?

It might distract me and make me not want to punch something if I have to go anymore weeks without a letter in my hands.

Thanks you.

y'all know I love this.  

the art, the cause.

the institute for self-reliant agriculture from spritzvisuals on Vimeo.

via

alien like you

I'm kind of obsessed with this song by The Piggott Brothers.  Give it a listen.

I'm spending the night with a pore strip on my nose,
a heating pad under my tired body,
and a notepad that will house a series of pro/con lists.

The first one concerns my love life.
The most impractical at the moment,
but the only one I can make myself do.

we're not in provo anymore

Thursday morning I got home from classes and got on facebook.

I almost didn't, but something told me I should (it was boredom).

I was scrolling and drinking some OJ when I saw a friend's status saying that Flavor Flav is filming in Provo and they need extras for that afternoon.

I texted Hannah and a few hours later we were in a dark dance club with Flav, Donnivin Jordan, Colleen/Miranda, Glozell, and Antoine Dodson.  Holy celeb overload.

So, it was an experience to say the least.  I loved it.  A lot.  But I was also glad that we were still in Provo and they recognized that some of us were BYU kids.  Glozell kept looking at Flavor and saying "We're in Utah!"

So, when you try to find me on the tube in early 2012, yes, I am that really white girl dancing like a really white girl behind a bunch of rappers.

help!

I need somebody.  Not just anybody.
Somebody who knows what I should be for Halloween.  And, go!
Seriously, I've never been this late before and it's crazy.

Mom came for the weekend and bought me groceries and meals.  It was perfect.  Thanks Mom.

My boys also ventured to Utah county and I saw them for all of 2.5 seconds.  Also perfect.  Love them.  This is all they left for me:

School is kicking my booty.  That's why it's college, right?  And it's worth it, right?  The semester is more than halfway over and as exciting as that is, it's also so so scary.  

Also, while you're at it, tell me what I should major in.  

Because every time someone asks me, I'm this close to telling them I'm going to drop out and find me a husband.

the funnies

I love college,
and I can't really imagine spending these first few years anywhere else.

That being said, there are so many times I roll my eyes at BYU.

So many times.

A plethora of times.

I won't bore you with the stereotypes, so here are some recent funnies:

Roommate Jill, Best Friend Hannah, and I went tunnel singing Sunday night.
We usually use my phone for the hymns, but sometimes it's a little small for a group to squint at.
A very nice boy came and squeezed himself in between us so we could share his hymn book.
Thank you, kind sir...
But then he got all fidgety and we couldn't read the words anyway (way to pick obscure hymns, people).
After a long few minutes he got a text and set his phone on top of the book so he could read it, obviously.
We could see it too, obviously, and it said "where are you?"
Harmless, right?

The kid promptly makes his way out of this girl sandwich, hands us the hymnbook, and walks away.
Didn't say a thing.
Of course we assume that he's going to find a friend and we can have a big shindig.

He never came back.

We didn't think anything until we realized we'd just sung three hymns using stranger boy's hymn book.

We stood in our spot for at 20 minutes just in case, but he never came back!

We moved by some friends and felt awesome about our inherited hymn book,
and then felt a wee bit bad when we found "best wishes" from some doting grandparents.

The Hymn Book* now proudly resides in apt. 318 and will until stranger boy himself comes to claim it.

*Name changed for privacy
---

I love hearing conversations on campus because half of them go like this:

"Hi!  How are you?"
"Great, thanks!"
"Oh good, I'll see you later [and we'll spend another 2 seconds catching up]!"
---

FHE background music has proved to be a mix of rap & Disney.
---

millions of gold from this page.

"failure is all part of success" --maddy

Most of you know I'm crazy.

Exhibit A: my whole life

Exhibit B: I'm taking Russian this semester.  5 credit hours of pretending I understand what the attractive man is saying.  Do you think they know I don't really suck, I just get distracted by their faces?  Or do I suck as well?  We'll see.

In other news, I make a mean (actually, very nice) grilled cheese.

And this is what it looks like outside:

It was 35 when I went to school this morning and the mountains are still playing peek-a-boo.

i'm obsessed

Something about General Conference, boys, and having your best friend on a mission will put things in perspective:

I need to move from hardly working to working hard.
I need to remember that college crushes will probably last just as long as high school ones for a while.
I need to stop idolizing people and remember that I am just as cool.
Checking the mailbox four times a day will not magically put anything in there.

Everyone should always listen to these guys all the time (yeah):

After just deciding a few weeks ago that "Ye Elders of Israel" is my favorite hymn, I fell in love with their version!  It's beautiful.  I bought it this morning and have already listened to it 15 times in the short time I've been at home.

Come and be obsessed and happy!

get in mah bellay!

YOU GUYS.

I've been on the Greek yogurt bandwagon ever since I tried it, but it just got to a whole new level.

I'm just sitting doing my homework this morning and I pull out some breakfast.

via

I look and I'm like, "Oh, hi.  I accidentally bought 2%."

I am NEVER buying 0% again.  Seriously, this was the best stuff I have ever tasted.

Worth all 2.5 grams of fat.

it's my rite

Yesterday morning I woke up on my own about forty minutes before I needed to leave for class.  

It felt great.

Then I decided to just not go to class.  

That felt better.

So, I spent the day (mostly) by myself and being productive.  

Roomie and I got groceries and things in the morning 

and moved this helpful fellow into the apartment:

Lemme tell ya.  It was time for him to come.

Then I spent the afternoon cleaning and reading up on writing & Russian.

I needed it.  It was almost better than taking myself on a date.

---

Then Karma decided to pay a visit.

We couldn't watch Glee.

But now it's Friday and things are even better in the world.

And Glee worked.

Stay tuned for a recap of tonight's football game

and a weekend on the town.  

the most giantest fruit i ever did see

I shall call this series "mango: bigger than your brain"

sundays

This is what Sunday looks like at college (I know now cause I've done it four times, right?):

I jump out of bed an hour after my alarm goes off and try on clothes til I get it right, stuff a piece of bread in my face, apply mascara, get rid of the morning breath, and slather on the lipstick to distract from my hair/zits/clothing that should be ironed.

Walk out the door to make the 30 second trek to church at 10.40, which I've decided is the most perfect time for church.

Laugh, cry, and sleep for three hours (all while being spiritually enriched).

Ward choir is amazing.  Though I miss my choir friend Jaymie in Cville, I've never had so much fun.  The boys are great, our director is genius, and we sound dang good.  Come see us.

Sleep, linner, sleep, "study."

Ward prayer, stalk boys.

Tunnel singing.


Variations:
Write missionary letters.  I've already gotten two letters from my best friend missionary man.  That's basically a letter a week.  That makes me happy.

Skype.

Not make dinner.

Wait until after tunnel singing to begin weekend's homework.  It's Monday now anyway, so I feel less guilty...

Go to firesides.  Last week was Elder & Sister Oaks and as I'm sure you've heard by now, it was incredible.  I'll elaborate another time.

Anyway, Sundays are great days.  Mondays are still not.

fresh meat

The weekend before classes started was New Student Orientation.  I don't like orientations.  Campus tours in a group of thirty is not my idea of fun and I hate group games (so much).  Luckily I had a pretty great group and my leaders only insisted we play getting to know you games, which I can deal with.  I still don't like everyone knowing I'm a freshman though.

Anyway, it was a good time, but a long time.  I was done and I needed to see a friend.  Hannah is a smarty pants and had already been in Ptown for a week.  We met up for food one afternoon and it was the best time I had all weekend long.  

As we scarfed our Taco Bell (naturally), the most darling woman came up to talk to us.  Her name is Nancy, she has down syndrome, and she works in the CougarEat.  She's also very high functioning and hilarious.  Imagine a sweet & silly grin and a twinkle in her eye and you got her.  After chatting for a few minutes, this happened:

Nancy: What do you do during orientation?

Us: Well, basically, they just talk at you a lot.

Nancy: How do you make them stop?

then

Nancy: So are you guys busy tonight?

Us: Sorry, but we are!  For orientation they have some fun things you can choose to do tonight for free, and we're going to the science museum.  

Nancy: What's the fun part?

For real though, this girl is hilarious.

I love meeting new people.

here we are

This time last year I was with my best friends in the most ridiculous government class known to man. The "teacher" made us watch a video on 9/11 that made me feel more sick and less proud. There was a period after the attacks that I felt that way. My stomach constantly in knots because I didn't understand why a human being could act so awful to others. But, I'm proud again. Proud of the people who do what's right and proud that I grew up understanding.
---
I was in third grade. I remember feeling so old, but I wish no eight year old had to try to understand these things. As far as I remember I was the first student to know, and the teachers still knew very little because it was happening as we got our spelling words for the week. My step dad came down the street to school to tell me because my mom was on a plane headed to Utah for my grandma's birthday on that very day.
It was weird.  I was scared and I wanted my mom home.  I've always kind of looked forward to the anniversary because when I can get a good cry from hearing someone's story with a happy ending, or even a sad one that evokes hope, I grab it by the horns.  For all the times I roll my eyes at what people do or say, there are ten more times that I am amazed and humbled by the good in the world.
---
It's become a big deal to share where you were on that day ten years ago, but there are people out there who still need to share their story.  Some can't in this life and we appreciate them and pray for their families.

"i wish college was really an amusement park. clown college?"

This is why I'm paying for higher education.

One day a ferris wheel showed up outside the library.

We may or may not have giggled like little girls.

I also heard rumors of a Disney sing-a-long on the premises.

Also, I went to the temple tonight and was baptized by

a man with an Irish accent.  Oh, hi.  Twas beautiful.

Also talked to Harry Potter while taking out the garbage.  

Did I tell you he's in my ward?

Happy almost weekend, loves.

inspiration

you know when something is so beautiful, you just can't stop watching or hearing?

that's my inspiration.
and when it happens, i can't let go.

i can't tell you how many times i've listened to this song,
but it's been on repeat ever since i found it last night.

it's been one week

since i moved in.
since my best friend went to the MTC.
since i've seen family.
since i've been sane.

i bought a printer tonight and set it up all by myself.
i found some drawers under my bed.
i'm peeing and blowing my nose every 5 sec.

and i'm worn out.

homework will have to wait til morn.
yay for not having class til 10.

it's sunday night and i can't sleep.
actually, i haven't tried too hard yet
because that just means morning will come faster.

there's lightning and rain outside.
there has been almost every night since i moved in.
it's beautiful.

i'm not scared for classes to start.
i really can't wait to get into a routine
and see what college really is.
but i am a little nervous about how it's all going down tomorrow.

it will be great.

i am a college student, so i can get away with things like this:

peppermint tea in the pyrex for what better be a tired throat,
not a sick one.
my giraffe mug broke and this baby was perfect.
i'm all about using my resources,
especially if it means fewer dishes.

so here's what i learned today:
was too excited about beard man to finish before


ysa wards are hilarious.
boys.
hand holding.
talking (or in my case, laughing) at inappropriate times.
love stories from the stake president.
boys doing things to make girls laugh.
or think they're cute (until you remember they're getting their mission call this week).
introducing yourself 1248758713920395 times.
boys praying: "we're thankful for all these beautiful people in our ward... and the brethren too."

i can not make these things up.
all things considered, i adore my ward.
we are quality.

and i have never had so much fun at ward choir, ever.

night, ya'll.

student wards 101

THERE IS A BEARDED MAN IN MY WARD.


I LOVE COLLEGE.


(YES, I SAW HIS BEARD CARD)
(YES, THEY EXSIST)
(YES, I WILL CRY WHEN HE HAS TO SHAVE)

life moves on

and sometimes we need to change our email addresses we made when we were twelve.
so we do it.
and it feels good, but really weird to tell people name.name 
instead of rugratsluvr or ilovefood01 or dinosrokkk.
(even though mine was very classy)
ya know?

i move into my apartment on wednesday.
just buying things
and switching up bank accounts and insurance and the like.

once i'm hanging and studying
instead of saying goodbye,
i'll let you know what's up.

introducing...

the newest baby boy in the family,

Louie!

(St. Louis, King Louis, baby, bubs, pretty boy, buddy, handsome, etc.)

born June 4, 2011

and the cutest standard poodle you ever did see.

seriously, I'm converted.

we picked him up this morning and he is a sweetheart. 

he loves riding in the car, sniffing, playing, and napping.

we've had dogs for most of the past 10 years, 

but this is the first one my mom and I will have as a puppy,

and we are excited!

Louie is the best snuggler.

he smushes himself into corners and under your leg,

and likes your arm around him.

with the help of his hedgehog

 (from the breeder, has the scent of his siblings),

he's adapting pretty well.

also, it's pretty funny naming a dog with your parents.

we're hoping Louie sticks.

southern exposure

No, not the kind on Beck St.

I'm starting a "series," or whatever those fancy bloggers call it, to highlight all the things I love about the South.  I'm kind of frustrated right now because I really want to get back to Utah and enjoy a little dry air time before school starts.  For now, this will help me appreciate where I am, and later it will help tide me over until I get home.

Here we go:

FL storms are the best.

When it's not loud and adrenaline pumping, it's absolutely beautiful,

especially on the long drives through the woods.

The only thing that makes it better is when Mom buys me an Express Lane refill.

Hers is filled to the brim with ice and showered with Dr. P, 

while my handful of ice rests in a bath of the same syrupy goodness.

continued

I have this strange habit of having therapy sessions with myself.  What I've discovered is that I have felt inadequate for a long time.  I'm not sure if this stems from being the really youngest child, but it doesn't help because I don't feel like people take me seriously.  More often than not, my complaint to my mom is that I just want to be taken seriously.

I think my issues with choosing a school, and a major, and a career and all the little decisions in between are that I'm confronted by those who think I'm not capable to do so.  That definitely weakens my self esteem, and it shows.  

I wanted to go to Berkeley.  I was going to study Environmental Design and live close to my sister.  I was going to walk around the most beautiful campus in the world, and I was going to change the world. At least the world I live in.  

Then a comment from a well-meaning, but not too helpful guidance counselor changed my mind.  It made me think that it wasn't worth it to try, that people would look down on me if I didn't get in, and that Berkeley and I would never be a good match.  That was that.

At a BYU orientation, a smart, but not well-meaning, not too helpful head of a college lady told me my dream major/minor combo didn't make sense.  That because she had been in this field a long time (read: long) it wasn't going to work.  I dreamed of helping the earth while helping the earth's people and she told me it wasn't plausible.  So, I stopped asking questions, I stopped searching for ways to make my dream work.

I've wanted to be a dancer and a singer and a writer, and while I still participate in and love those things, there's a part of me that will never appreciate those things the way I did because of the way people treated me.

I have a nasty habit of saying "one day."  One day I'll do this because someone will be there to appreciate it.  One day I'll be who I want to be.  Another nasty habit is that I feel like I have to accomplish something grand, something just for me before I can earn respect.

This is my second epiphany: I know who I am and, for the most part, I love the parts of me that I see, but others don't.  I appreciate the good things that others see, but I never want their sympathy or pity when I say what's on my mind.

So here I am.  I'm feeling raw and exposed, but happy.
I may not always believe that I deserve what I do.
I may not always be sane.
Just give me my time and in the end,
I'll know what I always knew I knew.

[insert epiphany here]

On the drive home from the big city tonight, I wasted time reading blogs on le phone.
As I meandered the blogosphere, I found a gem.  She has a great sense of humor, writes well,
and relates darling anecdotes of newly married life that draw you in, but don't gross you out at
the sheer amount of detail (you know, those people who tell you the time of day they pee and such).

Anyway, I read this post and it reminded me of what my dear friend Karlie said just yesterday.
The opening lines of Kara's post made me laugh out loud.  Sometimes I think I'm so smart.  I'm 18, I'm finally starting my life, right?  More and more I'm realizing that I am so wrong.  Just like Kara, I feel like I'm waiting for this perfect time of my life because I'll finally know what lies ahead of me, finally be in control of my life.

I know life isn't going to be easier just because I'm on my own, but I still want to believe that I'll magically know what I'm to do.  Just like Kara, I just know I'm going to travel and find myself before I get married, and that's going to take a long time.  I feel so determined to break the BYU marriage cycle that I've made myself sick worrying that what lies ahead of me isn't what I'm meant to have.

Now that I've confused myself and any one else out there (and feel bad because I talk about this all the time), I'll tell you where Kar comes in.

I'm like Kara in the first half of her story, but there are no guarantees that the second half will be mine as well.  Karlie's post is something that we've shared with each other in passing, but have spent plenty of time pondering on our own.  For me, there are no guarantees, except that I know everything will be okay.  I have screamed and cried at all the times that I didn't know where my decisions would take me.  I felt sick that maybe my ignorance at the time of most importance (I thought) would cost me a good education and my perfect future.

Karlie never wanted to go to USU.  I was absolutely not going to BYU.  I didn't want to be that person.   I was going to settle on the northeastern coast and be big.  I was going to earn high class respect.  Then one day I decided to stop researching every single university.  I was going to apply and if it didn't work, I would figure something out.

Like I've mentioned before, I made my decision, I'm happy right now, and I still have no clue where I'm going in life.  The fact that what's good for me now may not be good for me in a year used to turn my life upside down.  Now I'm almost settled and I'm many many states from where I thought I'd be.

This is my epiphany: I just wanted to write this so you'd listen to me again and think I'm all deep and stuff.
After looking back at the way I make big decisions and having lovely chats with my two oldest and wise sisters on the beach, I now know what I knew I knew before, and what my mother lovingly told me after every meltdown: I will be okay.  It will all work out.

Part II: An explanation of why I feel the way I do & how I got there, coming soon.

the culinary genius speaks

dude.  DUDE. 

This moon (morning/noon ish), I was like "hmmm... lunch?" and then "veggie burger?" and then "no way I'm eating another gross soy burger, I want some substance up in here!"

SO.

I took a can of black beans, a red onion, a red bell pepper, corn, an egg, cumin, garlic salt & red pepper flakes.

I smushed the beans in a bowl, and used my wise eye to throw in the perfect amount of the other ingredients.  

Throw it on some olive oil in a heated skillet and let it sit long enough that it won't fall apart when you flip (≥ 5 min for me).

I didn't have any avocado, which sounded delicious, but I made a bomb sammy.

I toasted some whole grain bread, spread some Sun Dried Tomato & Basil Laughing Cow on each side, topped with cucumber and red bell pepper on each side, and smashed that little burger in the very middle.

Oh my.  It was so good that I may have another one for dinner.

And I was too distracted to take a picture, so go make your own and document better than I do.

You're welcome.

I spy...

Every time I come home, 

I end up on an accidental scavenger hunt

to find all the new things around my house.

This summer, it's the Crusher!™

A great addition to any pantry, this device aids your every need!

Crush aluminum cans to a fraction of their original size!

Perfect for saving space in your kitchen trash and simple recycling!

Now available for one easy payment of $19.99!

But really, this is one handy gadget.

yeah, yeah

Aight, so here's the deal.
I've sat down to do this so many times
in the past couple days and for some reason,
I couldn't.

I'm determined because I need
to document this summer
before it's over and I forget.

I may just need to invest in the
BlogPress app, so I can keep up.

So, around here summer kind of looks like this:

FL bugs

FL thunderstorms

shopping online

for textbooks

and quilts

and making trips to Tally

to spend the gift cards that totally fried my wallet,

spend quality time with sister and fam,

attend the single's ward,

and see HP, of course!

(Tallahassee Mall is super classy)

I decided against a separate HP post, 

because I'm speechless.

I mean, I loved it.  

Neville's hot.

The Epilogue was beautiful.

It was perfectly intense, sweet, and hilarious.

But other than that, 

I'm too happy to form any eloquent judgement.

no camera cord exists in my home, 

so you get to deal with iPhone photos this summer.

I need a new camera.

expecto patronu--whaaa??

It's over. It's been over, but seeing it outside of my head makes it more real. Ropert (Ron/Rupert) is a beautiful man. I cried. I laughed at inappropriate times--stress giggles. I got angry. So many emotions! It was special.

On our way home we saw a scary accident. It made me grateful for my life. And made me pray that we'd make it home.

I've been thinking about life. During a very deep discussion about love with my 15 year old niece, I came up with a happy/happiest theory. Remind me to tell you about it.

I'm stalking Alec Baldwin on twitter.

All of these things made me wish I could tell people what I really feel. If I knew I'd never see someone again, I know exactly what I'd tell them. Why can't I do it frealz?

I'm such a cheeseball.

the suspense is killing you, I know,

so here's a sneak peek at my Russian experience:

tastes a little salt & vinegar-y, a wee little crabby

tastes like butter

Those Russians like their Lay's.